Bad tidings from the ghost of Third Lanark

By Bernard Thompson

Published in the Irish Times online edition

Bloody useless double-glazing! There I was in my nightshirt and bedcap, when a chill draught shrilled through me. I stepped miserably from my warm bed to quell the influx of air but could not evade a jangling sound.

I was bemused by the fanciful idea that it sounded rather like dragging chains when "Holy Moses, there's a man in my room!" The bottle of beer that I keep at my bedside for emergencies smashed with a froth as it sailed through the red tracksuited figure to the wall behind. "I am the ghost of Third Lanark", it moaned, "One-time decent Scottish football outfit, defunct since the sixties."

"And what do you want from me, chump?" I said, wetting myself with fear but petulant, nonetheless. "Learn from my mistakes," he said, "For there are other Scottish teams that could one day suffer my miserable fate." I now knew him to be quite mad as no one ever learns from mistakes so I was a little more respectful in my tone, "And what fate is that, Sir?"

"Who-o-o-o-ah, oh woe! Since I left this happy world, I have been forced to travel the grounds of the League of Ireland - I never miss a game." Now, I was truly scared. "You will be visited by three spirits this night. They will show you things past, present and yet to come. Heed them, he-e-e-d them!"

"Stick the heid in them given half a chance," I thought, but I kept my powder dry.

I reached for my Partick Thistle scarf, which banishes all things football but it was to no avail. In the corner stood a curly-haired man with goggle specs and a big woolly coat. It was Roger Mitchell, Chief Executive of the SPL.

"So you'll be the first," I said.

"No, I'm just pre-match entertainment," he squeaked but his smile faded. He thrust open his coat and what do you think I saw? Two whimpering children sat at his feet, one in the red of Aberdeen, the other in Dundee United's Tangerine and Black.

"This Dundonian is hunger," he said "Yon Aberdonian is want. Fear them! For they are crap and it's not getting any better."

In a flash, he was gone and a decrepit, white haired, whiskered figure stood leaning heavily on his walking stick.

"I know who you are!" I pointed accusingly.

"So you should, for I have been around as long as the game of football itself."

It became clear to me, "You are Tom Boyd, ancient captain of Celtic FC, recently displaced by Ramon Vega."

"Do yourself a favour son," he replied, "Don't mention Vega." He transported me to Lisbon where crowds swarmed merrily on a football pitch. "Cellic are European Champeeons," said one, "Nae bother! We're the best team in the wurrld!"

In a trice, I was at a ground with two towers where a figure in dark blue was playing keepy-uppy on the wing. The fellow next to me laughed. "England, World Champions? Nae bother! Scotland are the best in the wurrld now, ya big …. Aye, you, Stiles!"

I had just deduced that I was in 1967 when I was thrust into the middle of a riot. Plastic bullets and tear gas spattered the air. I hid behind a particularly large combatant who bellowed "Show's yir Barcelona chapels. Cup-Winners' Cup for the Rangers - the best team in the wurrld!" <

And then I was in Gothenburg where a tearful Aberdonian turned to me and said, "We've won the Cup Winners' Cup. We beat Real Madrid! We must be the…" "I know," I cut in, "the best team in the wurrld."

"Forget this not," said Tom and he vanished faster than you could say "Airmiles?"

By the time the stubbled Italian spirit arrived, I was dressed for a holiday in yellow Hawaiian shirt and white shorts.

"Don't worry. Lorenzo can give you some fashion advice. Come with Lorenzo."

I was ill-equipped for the frosty ground of Dundee where jaunty lads in green and white were nonchalantly leaving the pitch as a bespectacled Irishman repeated "Fantastic, fantastic lads, fantastic."

A large crowd mixed chants of "4-0, 4-0" in a medley with copious obscenities and references to terrorism.

"This is Celtic and they top of the League. I dunno why," Lorenzo remarked.

"Celtic top of the League!" said I, "This is strange fruit indeed."

"Hah, you should see the oranges," said Lorenzo as I found myself in a room where there were several men in blue. "I eavesdropped the conversation."

"Gonnae speak English!" said one in a voice of broad Scots.

"Gonnae learn Dutch!" came the reply, as half of the room was awash with laughter.

"Let us not squabble, "said the latter, "We have beaten St Johnstone, 3-0. The year is done. Come now, a toast to the founder of the feast."

There seemed to be mixed enthusiasm as the assembled group raised teacups and oranges and echoed, "To Dick, the founder of the feast."

When I was finally met by a postman at my flat, he was not bringing the Christmas cards or cheques that I had hoped for.

"I'm just a part-time spirit. I'm also a postman and I play for Hearts. There are many like me," he revealed, "I must show you things of the future, as this old year and century ends."

There were almost too many things to relate. I saw football grounds with chains on the gates and "For Sale" signs in the car parks. I saw fathers telling tearful children that he could not afford to take them to the game but that he would pay a tenner so that they could watch the match on telly. There were men in suits with Celtic and Rangers crests grovelling on their knees.

One said "Oh English masters, let us into the Premiership. We can't get a European League started." A man flicked cigar ash at both and scoffed "Don't make me larf. How 'bout the Nationwide League?"

I saw celebrating Irishmen as their team had knocked a Scots side out of the UEFA Cup. "That bit's already happened," the spirit revealed.

It was all too much. I pleaded to be shown no more and, still shouting, I awoke. Imagine my joy when I discovered that there was yet time. "I have been given a gift!" I shouted from my window, "I will save this game preaching youth development, and League reconstruction. I will call for less League matches and fixture lists that accommodate European competitors. I will demand that skill be emphasised for school age footballers, with imported coaches if necessary. I will call for measures to encourage the playing of talented Scots. I will save Scottish football."

I made off, still in my Hawaiian shirt, and ran not caring if I would first reach Ibrox, Celtic Park or the Head Office of the Scottish Football Association. Alas, I never made it. I was lifted by some cop who would only say, "It's for your own good, son" and am now remanded in a secure hospital.

So if this message reaches anybody, please see that it gets to the powers that be. Just tell them that it came from Third Lanark.

A rivalry that makes the Old Firm seem friendly

                                                                                                                            By Bernard Thompson
Irish Times online edition
It's that time of the season again in Scotland. The country's most bitter rivalry resurfaces with a league match that brings together the two sets of fans who reserve a special degree of contempt for each other.

The teams in question are, of course, Rangers and Aberdeen.

Black and White?: Controversy rages on about this tackle

For more than a decade these two sides have maintained a level of hostility that would make the relationship between Celtic and Rangers seem to be tame in comparison.

It would be naďve to say that the Old Firm fans have developed a healthy regard for each other - football related murders remain too fresh in the memory for that. But the antipathy between followers of the Dons and the Ibrox side regularly plumbs depths that would shock and bemuse most outside observers.

In preparation for Sunday's match at Pittodrie, another unsavoury incident occurred, on cue, with the likely result being a Rangers visit to the Granite City that will be brimming with vitriol.

This week, Aberdeen officials were forced to make their excuses for an unregulated forum, on the club's official website, in which fans had made distasteful remarks about the tragic deaths of two Rangers supporters in a weekend road accident. It was just the latest in a series of antagonisms that have often puzzled onlookers searching for its origin.

Although Aberdeen's visits to Glasgow had been highly charged affairs since the days of Alex Ferguson, commentators usually cite 1988, and the injury of Ian Durrant, as the birthdate of the real hatred.

One of British football's most promising midfielders at the time, he suffered at the hands of Neil Simpson, who seemed to stamp on Durrant's knee as he went in for a tackle. Durrant's recovery was slow and painful and he was never to achieve the same level of performance that had preceded the injury. While Rangers fans rallied round him, Aberdeen supporters felt that Simpson was unreasonably vilified during the protracted court case that followed, resulting in a Ł225,000 award of damages.

As a result, Aberdeen fans indulged in regular taunts, relating to Durrant's misfortune. The player himself recalled, in his autobiography, that when pictures of his new baby son appeared in the newspapers, an Aberdeen fan sent him a copy of a photograph with a bandage drawn on the child's knee.

There have been numerous other incidents. David Murray was forced to distance himself and Rangers from an unofficial fan magazine that had used its pages to urge Rangers supporters to "pay a visit" to an Aberdeen pub, which was a notorious haunt for the North-East clubs' fans. The management of the bar in question had announced to the media that they had installed new perspex urinals, which would have Rangers videos playing behind them.

More recently, Murray was forced to take action with regard to the Rangers' official match programme describing an element of the Aberdeen support as "scum".

Another occasion saw a well known Rangers-supporting comedian being attacked on the Ibrox pitch, as he led the home supporters in a song on one of Aberdeen's visits to Ibrox.

The upshot of this has been a degree of paranoia surrounding both sets of supporters where the other side is concerned. Aberdeen's poor performances against Celtic over recent years have led to absurd accusations from Rangers fans of them "lying down".

Those with this conviction seem unaware of the fact that the Dons' competitive performances against Rangers are probably directly inspired by the acrimony that such claims cause.

On the other side, Aberdeen fans complained that when David Murray urged Rangers fans to buy orange Netherlands shirts for last season's Scottish Cup Final against Aberdeen, it was a direct incitement to violence. And the decision, by the SFA, to refuse Aberdeen an equal share of tickets for the same match did nothing to improve relations.

There have been lighter moments. Dick Advocaat, oblivious to the history of ill-feeling between clubs, made the mistake of claiming there was little difference between playing Aberdeen and Greenock Morton, when stating his case for a 16-team league. The remark was received with customary indignation.

However, the incidents which can be greeted with amusement have been few and far between. The aforementioned goading on the Internet is more typical.

If Aberdeen manage to secure a result on Sunday which will further damage Rangers defence of the Championship, a gleeful reception from the Pittodrie followers will be guaranteed. However, in the climate of hatred that exists between the clubs, it is never certain that the talking points will concern the football.

Jefferies departs amid uncertainty at Tynecastle

By Bernard Thompson

Published in Irish Time online edition,

As supporters of Heart of Midlothian come to terms with the departure of their manager, Jim Jefferies, the reactions are of anger, frustration and disappointment, but not surprise. On winning Hearts' first major trophy for 36 years with a Scottish Cup win, in 1998, there was optimism at the club that they were finally making substantial progress on the field.

However, neither the Cup success, nor a major sponsorship deal was to signal a sustained challenge to their domestic game's established order. Last year, the Scottish Media Group, invested £8m in Hearts, with the promise from Chief Executive, Chris Robinson, was that half of that amount would be spent on players. In fact, less than £2m went on transfer fees, with the club arguing that a similar sum was allotted to player salaries. This infuriated supporters, who felt that they had been betrayed.

In a catastrophic failure of communication, Robinson appeared to be back-peddling from his earlier promises and it is clear that Jefferies had been under the same illusion as the supporters. Instead, after believing that he would be in a position to sign players of greater stature, Jefferies would be further dismayed to find that financial problems meant the gradual disintegration of his playing squad.

Since the Cup win, Neil McCann, Paul Ritchie, David Weir and, most recently, Gary Naysmith have left the club, representing much of the core talent at Jefferies disposal. The departure of Colin Cameron has been seen as inevitable since the season began, and it has been made clear to Darren Jackson that the club cannot afford to honour a contractual clause, guaranteeing him a one year extension. By any measure, Jefferies was in an irresolvable position.

The extent of Hearts, financial difficulties were indicated with the revelation, earlier in the season, that the club was attempting to manage losses of £250,000 per month. Clearly, this meant little prospect of improvement and an offer by former Chairman, Leslie Deans, to invest £2.25m in the club led to increased acrimony.

Again, Jefferies was in the middle of a situation that was outwith his control. Deans is a friend and admirer of Jefferies but his offer was dependent on the removal of Robinson, who had been known to be lukewarm in his support of the manager. The claim that Robinson had proposed dismissing Jefferies infuriated fans and was roundly criticised in the media, where a drama of personalities was increasingly represented.

For Robinson, who remains defiant in his statements, the question of Jefferies future has always seemed to be critical to his role within the club. Robinson's support in the boardroom still holds.

However, the warmth generated by his relationship with the fans approaches absolute zero and yesterday's events will surely test the resolve of the directors. Meanwhile the comments by Paul Ritchie, now with Manchester City, that no one can succeed at the club while Robinson remains, reflect an opinion that is widely held.

The timing of Jefferies' resignation, on the same day that Stuart McCall announced that he had no wish to manage Bradford City has caused some people to link the two events. Jefferies may well go to Bradford - he must be a strong candidate - but, unquestionably, his commitment to Hearts was total. If the availability of the Premiership club's position had any bearing on his decision, it is unlikely that there were any sinister dealings, as the club's agreeing to pay him for the remainder of his contract would indicate.

But he was also aware that his own reputation was at stake. Results have been mixed and there have been recent fan protests outside Tynecastle. Jefferies will have been well aware that it was better to leave while the supporters remained solidly behind him than risk his own credibility with further decline and he had voiced concerns over the security of his position, earlier in the season.

He will also be aware that the timing of his departure was astute, in terms of the club politics. The shouting matches by fans outside the ground had been in addition to a red card protest during a recent match with St Johnstone. Again, Robinson was the main target of abuse.

With Jefferies having stated his desire to return to Hearts in the future, the pressure on Robinson and the Board of Directors is intense. The touted appointment of former player, Craig Levein, might buy a degree of goodwill but it is difficult to see how he could improve on Jefferies achievements.

Last night, the protesters were not concerned with results and performances but were a highly inflamed group of supporters reacting to a situation which, as far as they are concerned, has clearly defined heroes and villains. In the last three years, Hearts have experienced the good and the bad. Now they must prepare for the truly ugly.

Are Rangers on the road to ruin?

by Bernard Thompson

Irish Times online edition

In the Scottish tabloids, one of the most recognisable images of
the past decade has been the Celtic crest with a crack across its middle.
Accompanying the words, "Celtic in Crisis", the graphic has been so commonly
used that it has become a visual cliché. But, with Celtic currently riding
high at the top of the Scottish Premier League, the abysmal form of their
city rivals has seen the Rangers club badge come under scrutiny.

Dick Advocaat says the word "crisis" is not applicable in football. He may
be right but the performances of his team in recent months has done nothing
to generate positive hyperbole. "The table doesn't lie" allegedly, and if
that often used remark is a truism, then Rangers have profound problems.
They currently lie fourth in the table, thirteen points behind Celtic, who
have played one game more. However, as Advocaat has already commented,
"Playing like this, you lose every game".

His team have done nothing to disprove his forecast. The most vehement
condemnation of players that most observers can recall, after losing to St
Johnstone, did nothing to motivate his squad to achieve better things.
Defeats by Sturm Graz and Kilmarnock followed, leaving the Ibrox side's
season on the brink of collapse. The 3-0 loss at home to Kilmarnock marked
Rangers' third consecutive league defeat; something which last occurred 11
years ago.

And, frankly, there are not the faintest signs of recovery. Various analysts
point to different aspects of the club's current troubles as the most
significant. Perhaps the best conclusion to be drawn is that that very
disagreement indicates a malaise that is as broad-ranging as it is deep.

Advocaat can legitimately point to serious injury problems that would test
the abilities of any coach. In the short time that he was fit, Michael Mols
looked capable of showing himself to be one of the most talented forwards in
British football. However, problems with his knee have ruled him out for
several more weeks at the very least.

In his absence, it is apparent that Rangers do not have a replacement who
can be considered to be remotely comparable to the Dutchman, a fact to which
the solitary goal in the last seven matches testifies.

Injuries have also limited the contribution of Jorg Albertz and Giovanni Van
Bronckhurst. Albertz is not a favourite of his boss, yet his long-range
goals have been invaluable on countless occasions.

Van Bronckhurst, on the other hand, is very much the man to make Rangers
tick. Clearly the best midfielder in Scotland, his current groin injury
looks certain to limit his powers for the forseeable future.

These are just three of a clutch of injuries that can be used in the defence
of the Head Coach. Yet there lingers a suspicion that too much of Rangers'
success depended on the presence of these three players. The performances of
the other squad members barely justifies the enormous salaries they have
been collecting.

This has lead to much speculation with regard to the question of their being
unable or, perhaps, unwilling. There are emerging claims of factionalism
within the dressing room, strengthened by Advocaat's assertion that he knows
what the problems are but is reluctant to articulate them.

It is alleged that some of the non-Dutch players resent Advocaat's apparent
readiness to back his countrymen regardless of the relative performances of
their teammates. Albertz, the French goalkeeper, Charbonnier, Scots striker
Billy Dodds, and the Australian defender Tony Vidmar, are just a few who
could justly feel aggrieved that they have been seen as expendable amid some
performers who have played like journeymen but are paid like superstars.
Then, of course, there is captain Lorenzo Amoruso who Advocaat strongly
supported last season, but who he clearly now wishes to be rid of. That has
been made impossible by the loss of Craig Moore and the hopelessly inept
form of Bert Konterman, signed as Amoruso's replacement. This pair are the
central unit of a defence that is little short of chaotic and which was
ruthlessly exposed in the 6-2 defeat by Celtic.

An unhappy dressing room is not new to Avocaat. He had even worse problems
when coaching the Netherlands in 1994. However, his track record of five
trophies in two years entitles him to have a certain degree of faith shown
in him, even if some of his signings have been questionable.

What might be more significant though, is whether or not Rangers can provide
the means to allow him to undertake the major task of repairing a team.
The much vaunted signing of a world-class striker has never materialised and
the abandonment of attempts to sign John Hartson and Raul Tamudo has been
viewed with suspicion in some quarters.

And a retiring Director of the club, Hugh Adam, recently expressed fears
that David Murray is leading the club into financial danger. If Adam is
right, there may not be quite the amount of money that Murray (known to
supporters as "The Mint") would like the public to believe.

All may be revealed soon as matters are set to come to a head over the next
two weeks. If Rangers lose to Monaco and finish bottom of their Champions League group,
they will be deprived of the chance to earn the European revenue that even a
UEFA Cup place would allow them.

Furthermore, if they do not begin to reduce the ten point gap between
themselves and Hibernian, they are also in danger of losing sight of
Scotland's second qualifying place in the Champions League.

Added to this is a game on Tuesday against Dundee United in the CIS
Insurance Cup. Two months ago, Advocaat and the Rangers fans would
cheerfully have exited this tournament rather than be distracted from their
greater pursuits. But in the current circumstances, defeat against the team
that has failed to win a League match in six months would not bear
contemplation.

All of these problems raise huge question marks over the future of Advocaat
himself.

Dismissing him is not an option but, faced with an end to Rangers' Champions
League adventure, and without the means to improve the side, there is a real
possibility he will leave.

That would give Murray the problem of finding a coach who was willing to
take on a large Dutch contingent in an unhappy dressing room and with
limited funds to make his own mark.

Few candidates would have the ability to succeed. So, somehow, Rangers must
immediately convert a run of surrendering form to a winning streak which
will take them beyond the Old Firm match at the end of this month.
If they succeed it will be one of the most dramatic reversals in the history
of Scottish football. If they fail, the consequences may be felt years into
the future.

Theoretically, they have the ability to salvage this season. But the clock
is ticking loudly.

Sad end to glorious story

By Bernard Thompson

Published in Irish Times online edition

In Scottish football, the term "great man" is jealously guarded. Busby, Shankly and Stein are acknowledged as men who performed the supernatural in the days of the true working class hero.

Try to add Alex Ferguson to the list and all manner of arguments begin. So, if the manager of the English and former European Champions must struggle to establish his credentials, then it is no surprise that Ferguson's Scots contemporary, Jim McLean, has become a target for disdain.

When Ferguson was challenging the supremacy of the Old Firm, McLean was in charge of a Dundee United side that seemed equally able to rock the foundations of the Scottish game. Between them, the east coast sides, were given the title of "The New Firm" in recognition of the belief that their tilt at the established order would be lasting.

Ferguson's successes are legendary but, with a League Championship, two League Cup successes, a UEFA Cup Final and a European Cup semi-final, McLean's achievements could stand comparison with any recent Scottish club manager. On Saturday, his 29 years with his beloved club came to an end in the most bitter of circumstances.

After a fans' protest outside the ground, McLean faced the television cameras to insist that he would not be driven from a team that he had supported before many of the cat-callers were born.

However, when questioned about the role of his brother, at the club, and the future of manager, Alex Smith, McLean, rashly, raised his fists to the reporter and later announced his intention to sever all links with United, in a public apology. His demise marked a sad end to the career of one of Scottish football's few truly remarkable figures.

When McLean took over United, they were an insignificant club, with no appreciable history of success. Established as Dundee Hibernians in 1910, they were known as the second club in Scotland's fourth city and of negligible importance. It was purely through McLean's understanding of football - an appropriate attribution of the word "genius" - that the Tayside club came to challenge, and often overwhelm, the established powers of Rangers and Celtic.

United, not only won the League in 1983, they went on to reach the semi-finals of the European Cup, losing out to AS Roma in a bitter encounter.

They also lost a UEFA Cup Final to IFK Gothenburg, in 1987 (having beaten Barcelona and Borussia Moenchengladbach on the way) denying McLean's team the sort of glory enjoyed by Aberdeen but establishing the Tangerines as a team of genuine quality.

Such success would not be long-lasting. The introduction of Graeme Souness, at Ibrox, with a bank balance to match his personality, saw the establishment of a dominance in Scotland that was Royal Blue. However, the success that McLean had provided was never acknowledged as being unsustainable by the relatively small body of United fans. Over the years, they grew increasingly frustrated - as did McLean - by the team's inability to emulate their greatest successes.

The pressure increased until McLean finally agreed to give up the job of manager and take charge of the club's administration, in his new role of Chairman, in 1993. However, the failure of the club to prosper under new leadership was as inevitable as the ability of the Old Firm to use their financial power and massive Scottish audience to ensure that future challenges to their dominance would remain the stuff of fantasy. For United, relegation followed, as did promotion, but the hoped for re-establishment of a third power in Scottish league football would not materialise.

The result was a challenge to the boardroom, through a campaign in the media. "United for Change" was the name of a movement, led by the Scottish politician, Lord Watson, and backed by some businessmen and naïve fans. Their promise was to deliver the impossible with a plan that was without realistic specifics. McLean resisted, his board supported him, and it appeared that the threat had been fended off.

However, one of the worst League records of modern times was more than the supporters could bear. Dundee United have failed to win a match since April of this year and their last home win was in 1999. Saturday's 4-0 home defeat by Hearts saw the inevitable protests outside the ground and McLean agreed to defend his position on television.

Unfortunately, the relatively benign questioning became too much for him and he struck out at the BBC's interviewer. Although remorseful, he immediately realised that his position was untenable and intimated his intention to resign.

McLean understands that his moment of anger required a self-inflicted punishment. But what must seem unfair is the extent to which his contribution to football has gone unrecognised. While acknowledged for his team's achievements, his observations on the game went largely unheeded. At the peak of his success, he insisted that his players would be paid bonuses on their entertainment value rather than simply their results.

He was describing football as a product long before the new breed of polished executives had turned their attentions from Rugby Union to the proletarian game of soccer. And, as architect of one of Britain's most successful youth policies, he preached about the need to protect young players as well as the danger of financially greater powers poaching the fruits of years of coaching labour from "provider" clubs.

In many ways, McLean was ahead of his time but his visionary statements went largely unheeded. Had he possessed the panache of so many modern, highly educated executives, the international reputation of an established coach, or just the credibility of an Old Firm manager (he once refused the job of managing Rangers), he might have been regarded as a football luminary.

As things stand, his association with Scottish football and Dundee United has ended in ignominy. His actions, on Saturday, may have been unforgivable but it is certain that, between the victim and the perpetrator, it is McLean's pain that will be more acute - and long-lasting.

Scotland proving prickly for Scandinavians

By Bernard Thompson

Tartan Special

Published in the Irish Times New Media edition

In the religious calendar of Scottish football, the feast of the European adventure is a time for recrimination. Three clubs, Celtic, Rangers and Aberdeen have known the taste of champagne from continental cups. Each of these exemplified the perfect lives, in comparison to which, all modern endeavour is reduced to the level of good intentions on the road to hell.

There was a time when four teams taking on opponents from different nations would have been greeted with enthusiastic anticipation of the spectacular. These days, mindful of the fact that a Scottish casualty is traditional against the most benign of opponents, apprehension precedes the joining of battle.

Last week's probable candidates were Aberdeen, rudely coshed in their own home by a Bohemian parcel of rogues from an island at Europe's western extremity.

Their poor manager, Ebbe Skovdahl, enjoys neither luck nor luxury as he tries to fashion half a team of coalmen into diamond miners. As is customary when someone is enduring acute embarrassment, there was the inevitable application of schoolboy snot from an opposite number who has yet to know the pressure of expectation without facilitation. If, as Roddy Collins says, Skovdahl's 55 years make him too old to manage a major club, he has, at least, a maturity that is commensurate with his age.

It was a poor week for Skovdahl all round. John Jensen, guiding force of Danish Champions, Herfolge, had hoped to take advantage of Rangers' poor form and uncertain defensive combination to announce his arrival to Europe with an unlikely win. That his side lost 3-0 on their home ground, making them the only team, this season, to fail to breach that back line was the fault of Skovdahl, apparently.

With a grace befitting an infant who had dropped his ice cream on a dirty part of the pavement, Jensen wailed that the advice given to him by Skovdahl was no good. Particularly disappointing was Skovdahl's observation that the Gers' German midfielder, Jorg Albertz, invariably strikes the ball in a straight line. This was reasonable enough as "The Hammer" routinely invites defensive walls and goalkeepers to accommodate his shots, battered with such force as to verge on the malicious. Curling one into the Herfolge goal was a dirty trick indeed.

Elsewhere, Hearts showed that Iceland's middle ranking clubs hold no fears for the Scots elite by despatching IBV Vestmannaeyjar (a household name in Iceland) in a 2-0 away victory.

For good measure, the Martin O'Neill dream was preserved with a four goal trashing of those giants of Luxembourg club football, Jeunesse Esch. These are dreamy times for Celtic fans. The spark injected to the side by O'Neill (already lauded in a song to match any Norwegian Eurovision entry) has caused the fans to start digging out their optimism. Not only did the team come from a goal behind to beat Kilmarnock on Saturday but the hitherto useless Bobby Petta turned in a showing that should have earned him the man of the match award.

A less dignified performance came from his club's Chief Executive, Allan MacDonald. MacDonald's time at British Aerospace seems to have given him a grounding in the arms industry that extends to dodging bullets. The weekend papers were full of quotes from him pointing out why Celtic's troubles in his period of tenure were the fault of Kenny Dalglish, who he appointed, and Fergus McCann, who appointed him.

The comments about Dalglish were particularly lame as MacDonald fed Dalglish's enemies in the tabloid media with ammunition to continue their tiresome attacks relating to the former Director of Football's holidays.

More constructive was the announcement that both halves of the Old Firm are now moving forward with the development of a European League. Previously, David Murray had been dismissive of notions that Rangers would participate in such a venture but he is now positive about the benefits that it can bring. The plan has had many names but the most commonly used is the "Atlantic League". The new set-up would encompass teams from Scotland, Portugal, The Netherlands, Belgium and probably some Scandinavian countries.

With such success against the challengers from Iceland, Luxembourg and Denmark, it is unsurprising that the Scots should feel ready to take on the big boys - and Aberdeen may yet overcome Bohs, to show that Caledonia is mighty indeed. If they do, expect the four defenders of the football faith to be ushered to the next round with the traditional Scots toast: "Here's tae us. Wha's like us? Damned few an' their aw deid!"

Bohs can haunt Aberdeen

Aberdeen v Bohemians / UEFA Cup preview

By Bernard Thompson

10/08/00: Stanley Kubrick's "A Clockwork Orange" was dubbed "A nightmare vision of the not too distant future." That particular horror found its way onto the banned list in Britain but there is a danger of Scotland

experiencing its own version when Bohemians play Aberdeen in the UEFA Cup.

In days gone by, drawing a side from the League of Ireland was a dream come true for any Scottish team. There would be no uncomfortable journeys into European backwaters; no need for the club to bring a chef for fear of being served the head of some domestic mammal; the supporters would enjoy visiting a country where their native culture was appreciated - and a win was a foregone conclusion. Aberdeen can expect to experience most of these pleasures but the latter is not assured.

The Dons go into the tie under greater pressure than any Scottish team, entertaining an Irish side, has known. Recent years have seen Celtic and Rangers tackle St Patrick's Athletic and Shelbourne respectively, and discover that the gulf between the League of Ireland and the Scottish Premier League appears narrower than it has ever been. Shelbourne, especially, caused uncomfortable moments. Such hiccups invariably furrow the brows of Scottish football's critics.

There are easy parallels to be drawn between Scotland and its near neighbour. But that proximity leaves Ireland within pointing distance of those who see a Scottish game in decline. Unpalatable as it may be for followers of Irish domestic football; the League of Ireland is held as an example of the catastrophe that could befall the Scottish League.

So when the Dons and the Bohs clash, it will not simply be a friendly inter-Celtic rivalry that will be at stake but a measure of the health of Scottish football as a whole. And Aberdeen are in a poor condition to bear the nation's standard.

Having finished at the bottom of the League last season, their Chairman, Stewart Milne, was unable to provide Ebbe Skovdahl with the funds to continue his squad rebuilding. Their precarious position has been exacerbated by injuries to Thomas Solberg, Russell Anderson and Derek Whyte, requiring Skovdahl to recruit ex-Dons defender, John Inglis, on a temporary contract.

Skovdahl, who endured continual jibes last season as his team was branded the worst in Europe, has a thankless task but he meets cheap remarks with dignity and Confucian wisdom. If Roddy Collins thought that his digs regarding Skovdahl's age would irritate him, he would have been better to devote his attentions to the job on the field rather than target a man who is undeserving of such disrespect.

Bohemians may have a real chance but the fitness of Aberdeen's Moroccan's Belabed and Zerouali (who wears a zero on his back), combining with Arild Stavrum, can give them a potent goal threat.

However, the issues in this game extend beyond the two protagonists. Despite their poor league form in recent years and their failure to buy since last season, Milne continually emphasises that outside of the Old Firm, Aberdeen spend more than any Scottish club each year.

Potentially, they are the third most powerful club in Scotland and the success brought to the North East by Alex Ferguson is not forgotten. So losing to a team from the League of Ireland would lead to a poor prognosis for the future wellbeing of Scottish league football.

On their best form, Aberdeen can win but, if ever a Scottish team was in danger, in such a tie, it is now. Skovdahl has the nerve - and many still believe, the knowhow - to repair the damage, even of a defeat by Bohemians. But has the Scottish game?

•  Bohemians' nerve holds firm